Creeping Her Out
by MaraMariano
Summary: Written for the Epic T-Rated One-Shot Contest: Why you should never let Emmett pick the DVDs for a DVD-night all alone.


**Disclaimer:** Nope. Don't own anything related to Twilight (that belongs to genius Stephenie Meyer) and I don't own anything CSI related either. I'm just quoting one episode for this little One-Shot.

Thanks for the beta and the great title go to Becky (Clashingway; she writes really good things)

Quotes are written in _italic._

**Creeping Her Out**

written for

**The Epic T Rated One-Shot Contest**

hosted by Bronzehairedgirl620 (R.I.P. Daddy's Little Cannibal)

The rules:

**1.** No lemons. Must be rated 'T.'

**2.** Has to have a line or reference to a cannibal.

**3**. Has to have a line or reference to a fireman.

**4**. All canon pairings.

**5**. Has to be a one-shot, but is allowed to be continued once the contest is finished.

**6**. Must copy/paste these rules to the top of your submission. Two entries per person. Collaborations acceptable.

**7**. Must PM Bronzehairedgirl620 to alert her of your entry so she can add your story to the C2 if it fits the requirements.

-|-|-|-

**Bella POV**

Actually I had looked forward to a quiet night alone with Edward to relax a bit from this day – it wasn't like I could still tire but birthday parties by Alice Cullen, especially if they were for Renesmee, were still intense – but apparently Emmett had other things in mind. He wanted to introduce the rest of the family, namely me, to the fascination of CSI.

I really don't know what's going on his head sometimes and considering this particular tick of his, all the other Cullens were with me.

Although I couldn't get rid of the feeling that Alice was looking a bit smug tonight.

I jerked out of those thoughts when I heard Emmett's voice.

"So… and now we are moving forward a bit to Season 6," he grinned as he knelt in front of the TV and swapped the DVDs.

"There's a sixth season?" I asked my voice filled with a mixture of shock and disgust that only amused him more.

"Actually there are over ten."

I couldn't help groaning a bit as I hid my face on Edward's shoulder.

That was the only good thing about this really. That we were all in this together. Well, except Renesmee, who had to sleep, and Esme and Carlisle who were hunting together because he would be starting a new job the next day.

"Ladies and gentlemen, season six, episode one, 'Bodies In Motion'," he announced proudly as if he had directed and invented it as he pressed play.

By now I was pretty sure Edward and my sex-life would be pretty dull for some time and that I would even have some difficulties with feeding on my next hunting trip if I had to endure this disgusting series any longer.

It was funny, ridiculous even, how a TV series showing blood and traces of semen was getting to me. Especially considering I was a vampire. Oh and did I mention that it was just a freaking TV series?

However, after what felt like thousands of hours of watching this I thought I had at least seen pretty much every possible crime, solution to it, place to find the evidence that would lead to the murderer and I was quite sure it couldn't get much more disgusting. But boy was I wrong.

When I had first seen the car, or more accurately the weird stuff dropping out of the trunk I merely grimaced and hid my face on Edward's shoulder again until Emmett whined that I needed to watch or I would never get how they found the killer and how they did it.

As if I even cared about that. But he pouted and Rosalie actually asked me to pay attention too because it was 'fun'.

I should have become suspicious right then.

But when the green car appeared again I kept my eyes on the screen and regretted it almost instantly.

The blond kid actually had his hand, well, entire arm, in the soupy goop I had seen dropping out of the trunk before and that apparently had been two humans once, looking for the plug under the carpet.

I wanted to look away but somehow found myself unable to – maybe it was the same phenomenon as with people watching accidents – when he suddenly he pulled the plug out, splashing some of the goop in his face in the process.

"Ewww!" I exclaimed and I could hear Edward voicing his disgust as well as I hid my face again, actually thinking that would help. Little did I know that the said things would be the worst.

_"Technically, that makes you a cannibal."_

"Ewww," it escaped my lips again as I covered my ears with my hands in a very futile and human attempt to keep out all noises.

"Wait, wait, there's more." Was that Alice's excited voice?

_"Grissom would be proud."_

_"Grissom would've tasted it on purpose."_

"Oh God!" I exclaimed and actually gagged. Who knew vampires were able to gag? I mean seriously gag and not just acting it?

It took hearing and feeling Edward growling to realize that Emmett was laughing.

Emmett was laughing.

Emmett was laughing loudly.

Because he had planned all of this.

He had planned my misery.

My head snapped up and I quite literarily glared daggers at him. "You jerk!"

"You have no idea how funny this is." He was still laughing.

"And what exactly is so funny about this?"

"Come on, man, seriously. Since she's known you she wanted to become a vampire, which compulsively contains drinking blood. She's actually drunk it when she was still human but she can't take a TV series showing that?" He laughed again. "That's hilarious."

This time it was me who growled, mostly because Emmett didn't only pull this really bad prank but because apparently everyone was involved in it. At least everyone else seemed to know about it.

"How come you didn't warn me about this?" I asked Edward harsher than intended, jumping up from the couch.

"I… I didn't know," he replied a bit taken aback at the sudden loss of contact.

"You didn't know? You're a mind-reader."

"Alice was methodically working through all of our closets and Emmett was thinking about… well… Rose."

I certainly knew what that one meant.

I sighed, regretting that I had turned my anger against Edward.

Grabbing his hand he immediately stood up, understanding that I wanted to leave.

"I hate you," I told Emmett as we passed him, heading outside towards our little house.

I had never been so grateful for the fact that we had insisted on our own little house here as well, claiming to still be in our honeymoon phase.

-|-|-|-

I had successfully managed to avoid pretty much all of them for a couple of days now. It wasn't exactly the fact of Emmett pulling that prank on me – although I thought it was kind of extreme – because I could just deal with him in another wrestling match or something. Or pay him back with doing something that would make Rose act so chaste it would make a nun proud, but the fact that Alice and Jasper (I realized while passing the whole night in review, that I hadn't been able to look away because I had been excited. Excited! Who in their right mind would feel excited about that show?) had been into this too was a whole other pair of shoes.

Especially since it was obvious that I hated every minute of that dreadful TV Show.

So, yes. I was in a bit of a huff.

Just in a bit of a huff though because spending time alone with Edward sure had its perks. The thing I thought would happen to my sex drive? Didn't happen. So my avoiding-the-family kept on for longer than it had to, which annoyed Renesmee to no end so that she spent most of her time with Jacob at Tanya's.

But what can I say? I'm a happily married woman. Although that might have something to do with her urge to be away from us as well…

Either way… today that didn't work out that good because it was our first day at a new High School. And Renesmee's first time in one altogether so she spend half an hour this morning begging us to act normal towards them again.

Another half an hour later and a pinky swear from both Edward and myself we found ourselves in the parking lot of our new school heading for the office to get our schedules.

Just like expected the poor woman behind the counter was dazzled by the beauty of the people in front of her – it was still hard to believe that I was now actually one of the dazzling and not part of the being-dazzled, though that still worked with Edward – so that she stopped in her tracks and surely forgot what she wanted to do before.

Renesmee, standing in front because we wanted her to have as much of this first time in a high school as she could get, was so annoyed by this that she actually snapped her fingers in front of the woman's face to get her attention back, making me chuckle, while the others just grinned or looked amused.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Good morning, what can I do for you?"

"We're the Cullens, Brandons and Hales, the new students."

"Oh, of course."

The woman, Miss Stiles, went to get out schedules and then explained us everything which she managed quite well considering her hands were slightly shaking and her heart was beating like she had just run around the block ten times. (It was embarrassing to know that my heart had reacted like that once too and they had all been able to hear it).

"Alright, this should be all, except today there will be no fourth period like on the schedule. You will all meet in the gym to be filled in on the new fire prevention regulations this school has since the renovation of the science class rooms."

We nodded and said our goodbyes before leaving the office and going our separate ways.

Edward and I had all the same classes again while Renesmee had her own schedule except for two classes with Alice because she 'didn't have to go to school if she had her entire family hovering over there'. We had to agree with that. It was important to make this experience and it was not like we had to worry about her bloodlust.

Classes went by quite fast if you had a husband to calm down because of some teenage boys' thoughts and before we could blink it was time to head to the gym.

We all took seats close together, making sure to hold some distance between the humans in the room which brought us into front and second row. Apparently they were all scooting to the back because they were afraid to be called down.

But seriously, we would hear something about new rules and that didn't involve a student participating in the explaining, right?

We had to wait ten minutes before the door flung open and a fireman came rushing in still in those yellow pants they wore when called out.

"I'm sorry, I'm late but if the pager goes off you have to run," he apologized once he was at the microphone. "Can I have your attention now please."

I heard clearly how a group of girls closest to us gushed over how attractive he was and couldn't help shaking my head a little, amused. I suppose he was attractive but I was married to a Greek god so I noticed those kinds of things now even less than in my human time.

He looked around to make sure everyone had stopped talking, his eyes of course landing on us longer than on anyone else.

Out of the corner of my eye I could see Edward grimace and Renesmee whispering to him but I didn't make much of it at that moment. After the girls' whispers I was sure there were a lot of dirty thought flying through this room at the moment.

The hour passed as unexciting and slowly as anticipated so we were all ready to jump up and leave the gym when he had finished his lecture but forgot about that when he asked if anyone had a question but looked directly at Renesmee when no-one raised his hand.

"You for example? Do you have a question?"

"Uhm… no, thank you."

Was it just me or did that guy look disappointed?

In that moment we were dismissed and as I followed my family I noticed Edward's fists were clenched so tightly his knuckles seemed even whiter.

Just as I wanted to ask what exactly the reason for that was, Renesmee stopped me and touched my cheek, making it look like she was just wiping something off.

Those pictures hitting me, I knew exactly why Edward had behaved like that.

His fantasy rivalled Emmett's and Rosalie's and now that kind of fantasy involved my daughter. My little baby girl. I was ready to go back in and rip that guy's head off.

Removing her hand she looked at me with a cocked eyebrow. "Now, tell me. What's more disgusting? A couple of episodes of CSI or that?"

It took the whole of a second until I had hugged first Alice, then Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett.

"I'm so sorry, guys. I overreacted. I'm not mad anymore."

And this time it was Renesmee who laughed loudly.

**Ende.**

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**A/N:** Alright, my first story written for Twilight, and actually the first English one I put up here as well. I'm going to keep this short but I wanted to say that I don't want to offend anyone who loves to watch CSI with this. I actually like it too and found that particular scene I'm quoting pretty funny, but that idea just jumped me and seriously, Bella would hate it. Reviews and useful criticim are always appreciated.


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